Scientology Helped Us Deal With Our Daughter's Battle With Cancer

Stephanie and Russ are parents to three beautiful girls, and make their home on a farm in Texas. Adversity struck their family when their eldest daughter was diagnosed with bone cancer. Their story of dealing with this illness as a family, and coming through the other side shining, is inspiring and beautiful in the extreme.

​Scientology Parent interviews  the parents of an amazing young cancer survivor. 

SCIENTOLOGY PARENT: I understand that you have faced a particularly difficult struggle with one of your children–-something no parent should have to face. 

This girl had to make some really tough decisions and went through some really tough experiences during all of this, and though it WAS sometimes really hard for her, she always came through it with amazing grace and resilience. Her attitudes I think really reflect who she is and who she has become.

Stephanie, Mom

Stephanie:   A few years ago, my eldest daughter was diagnosed just after her 14th birthday with a bone cancer that was ravaging her leg and had already spread slightly to her lung. Her survival was very much on the line, and she had to have half her leg amputated, had almost a year of intense chemotherapy, and later had to have a lung surgery to save her life.   The procedures were all successful, and she is currently happy and healthy.   I am just so immensely proud of how she has pulled through all of this, and maintained such a bright, positive outlook on life.

Obviously it is every parent’s worst nightmare to have something like this happen to their child.

SCIENTOLOGY PARENT: From getting to see your daughter in person last fall, I was awestruck by how happy, well-balanced, and positive she is. She amazes me. 

Stephanie: She IS amazing. This girl had to make some really tough decisions and went through some really tough experiences during all of this, and though it WAS sometimes really hard for her, she always came through it with amazing grace and resilience. Her attitudes I think really reflect who she is and who she has become.

Though I felt like having this unusual leg surgery was absolutely the best decision she could make for her future, as a mom I had some real concerns about how it could affect her viewpoint of herself going into and through the adolescent years. Would she feel that she was not beautiful? Would she fear that no one would love her or be interested in her because her body was now going to be different? It was heartbreaking to think so, as she’s so bright and beautiful and such a wonderful person. One day we were talking a little about it, and she just said, “If a guy doesn’t love me because of my leg, then he’s not the guy for me.” That’s right. And for her to be able to have that viewpoint at 14 was just inspiring and a huge relief.

She has managed to keep such a sense of humor about it all too. The nurse would come in and (as required to do) she would ask Zoe if she had any allergies. Zoe would promptly reply, “Yeah, I’m allergic to chemo.” It always got a chuckle and lightened her mood. With her surgeon, he’d give her a checkup and then he might ask her if she had any other concerns; she might throw out, “Yeah, somebody cut my leg off!” and then they’d laugh and laugh. It’s not that she didn’t have hard or dark moments; but that she never lost sight of herself and the important things, that she not only didn’t let this change her attitudes in a negative way, but that she actually feels she gained something POSITIVE from this experience, is truly remarkable to me. I’m so proud of her. I admire each of my girls so much actually–each one of them is such a bright, unique, wonderful individual.

As a note, she received some Scientology auditing too. Once she was complete with treatment and was more up to it physically, she wanted to get some auditing before she went back to school, to help her handle some of the experiences and things about this that were still somewhat upsetting to her or would affect her sometimes. This went really well and helped her smooth some things out and take more of her attention off of cancer as the center of our world, so that she could carry on with life as she should.

SCIENTOLOGY PARENT: Do you feel going Clear helped you in any way in facing your daughter’s situation?

Stephanie: It was a very difficult situation and there were SO many aspects of it that were tough to face, the biggest being the threat of losing our child.  I’m sure you can imagine the range of emotions a parent might feel at facing the possibility of losing our daughter.  Being Clear didn’t make getting through this “easy” (obviously), but it’s important to understand how it made it easier – and POSSIBLE – to deal with everything I had to deal with. In going Clear I had already handled my own mental “noise”, my own negative thoughts and reactions, my own bad experiences. As a result, when it came to dealing with cancer and all that came with it, I was so much more able to stay focused, positive, and logical in my actions and decisions, and to stay upbeat.

It’s sort of like this: if something unpleasant is thrown at you and you have all this clutter and negativity and pain that it hits up against, it all just becomes a jumble of pain, one thing reverberating off another—it can be pretty black and overwhelming and heavy. But what if something unpleasant is thrown at you and there isn’t all that “stuff” there for the unpleasantness to stick to and stir up? It really makes for a very different scene. People in general are really quite amazing and resilient and positive—and without all that negative clutter, the unpleasantness is unpleasant but you deal with it and you bounce back and it’s done. With hurdle after hurdle thrown at me in dealing with my daughter and her treatment, I generally felt able to tackle each barrier as itself, and not get stuck in things or stuck in some emotional state. I was able to stay me, and thus best help her.

It was invaluable to me to be able to continue to be there for her through the whole thing, and for every other person in my family, and every other person affected by her illness for that matter. In my mind, what was needed (almost fully as much as excellent medical treatment), was to keep the future put out there, to keep her dreams alive, to create as many pleasurable moments as possible under the circumstances to help outweigh the rest, and to keep creating LIFE despite all threats. As a Clear, I felt able to do that pretty easily. As a result, my daughters, my family and my friends were positively impacted, where there could have been the potential for just fear, sorrow, overwhelm and loss. I had people (friends, family, strangers, even medical personnel) constantly commenting to me how positive and amazing we all were during all of this, commenting on how I dealt with my daughter and on our family’s relationship. I think most people in such situations rise to the occasion and are quite amazing, but I do feel being Clear really helped. My husband is also Clear, which made a huge difference for us as well.

Cancer brings with it a longer road too–even after you’ve beaten it, there are follow-ups and scans and there is watchfulness for recurrence, often for many years. You know, you want to just be done, but it has a tendency to not quite let you go. I’ve observed with others that this can lead to a lot of constant fear, upset, and unhappiness. Being Clear, I’ve found that I feel able stay out of fear and unnecessary worry as time marches on. I don’t have my attention stuck on it all the time, and I feel better able to just deal with what comes as it comes, not have cancer define our lives.

Russ:   Clear or not, an event like this is going be devastating. But what is important is how you handle it and what you do after you are done being devastated. One thing I’ve noticed after going Clear is that my emotions are much more free. This doesn’t at all mean that my emotional state is all positive all the time. Bad things happen, and I fully experience the negative emotions that go with that. This may not sound pleasant, and at times it surely isn’t, but there is a key here: I am able to fully grieve, and then I am able to move on. Negative emotions and grieving are completely normal and part of handling the losses that inevitably come with the experience that is life. Going through this cycle allows one to move on… to acknowledge that something has ended or changed and then to move on to start a new beginning. After my daughter was diagnosed with cancer, I grieved very heavily, but for a short period of time. Then I was able to immediately pick myself up and move on to doing something effective about it, to help her create her new future. Before I went Clear, I would tend to get “stuck” by bad events… to be unable to fully grieve and then move on. Sometimes I couldn’t feel anything.

Being Clear is being fully connected to life, able to respond to everything it throws at you with whatever emotion is most appropriate, positive or negative, and then to always be able to pick up the pieces and move forward into a brighter future. 

For more information visit: http://www.scientologyparent.com/family-daughter-cancer-battle-going-clear/